Friday, 23 March 2018

After the Storm Comes the Rainbow 🌈 (PART 2)

0

Life in Maher is near to perfect, compared to my primary school where I always get teased by the boys because my skin is not fair and I'm not pretty like other girls 😑 Sometimes I think why people have to discriminate skin color like white means pretty and black means ugly ?? I still remember how it feels to be unwanted and having small circle of friends.  I don't really have clique, though because I am always left behind but there are some true friends that made my day in primary school better. Primary school should be fun but somehow certain persons made it awful but it does not mean I didn't have any good memories. I do and those good memories are what I cherish the most πŸ˜ƒ

Another series of life I had gone through since I was little is Perkhemahan Cuti Sekolah (PCS) PERMATApintar πŸ’• !! One of the best camps I have ever joined. It started when I was 10, a tiny little girl being sent to a summer camp 400 km away from her parents for 3 weeks 😡 ! 3 awesome weeks every year since 2010 to 2015 ! While I'm writing this, I can feel my level of excitement peak πŸ˜† How can I describe how wonderful those camps are? Maybe in my further post I can share my experience going through this camp every December. Most of my friends I made is from these camps and yes, I gained a lot of friends and fun experience that I'll never forget.

Okay, here is where the storm starting to blow away my dream πŸŒ€  In 2014, again, I joined PCS for the fifth time in course Penyelesaian Masalah Matematik (PMM). Most of my colleagues are 15 years old while I'm 14. Most of the participants who did well in the final assesment during this camp will be extracted into the program (high school program) at Kolej PERMATApintar and it had been my dream especially to skip a year. Unfortunately, my dream crumbled because I didn't get chosen 😒 To be honest, my heart did breaks, I did cry because most of my close friends and people I know for years, get a place in the college. I was totally devastated but I encourage myself that I still have chance and there must be a good reason behind what happened 😊 I took some time to recover, a little bit emotional there because I am still young but my parents, although I know they too have high hopes for me getting admitted, they gave me moral support and encouraged me that it was okay, that I had done my best, that there is more good things to come, that it is not the end ❤

So I enjoy another year in Maher and on this year (PT3 year) I did most memorable things with THE ERUDITES ( my 3 Sina clan) πŸ’ž. Honestly, it was one of the best years as we went to trip to Terengganu together, organized programs, went to competitions, represented school to debate and even won best speakers award ! There are so many good moments in 2015 that made me feel grateful for not getting the offer and I feel like I want to spend my days at Maher until I finish high school πŸ™ŒHowever, I get to join the camp again in 2015, my last camp because 15 years old is the age limit. As usual, I had fun and participated like anyone else. Most of the participants are at my age too so I don't really feel insecure instead I had a very great time with my coursemates ✌

I got Advanced Physics this time and we combined with my previous year course, PMM. That year was quite melancholic, though because it was my final year joining the camp and I felt like, wow... I am really going to miss this place so much, a place where I made so many friends and memories, where I learnt a lot, a place where I think I belong and people understand me 😭 That year, again, I had to go through UKM 3 (the final assessment) and interview. I did my best but I did not put too much hope like I did in the previous year. On my last day, it felt really heartbreaking πŸ’” especially to leave my friends but we promised each other to keep in touch. Alhamdulillah, on that final year, I got the offer. To be honest, I was over the moon and immediately accept the offer without consulting anyone except my parents 😌 Although it looked like a false move but because my parents and I agreed on the same thing, it turned out to be one of the best decision Allah set up for me... 🌌

To be continued...

Sunday, 18 March 2018

After the Storm Comes the Rainbow 🌈 (PART 1)

0

SPM results was announced two days ago and I am very grateful for what I get because the target I set up was achieved. I get better than what I've been expected until I shed happiness tears and no words can describe how happy I was because the hard work is finally paid off. Alhamdulillah and all praise to Allah is what I gonna say. After a period I stopped posting on this blog (well, this blog exists only for my Bahasa Melayu class), I somehow felt like I want to write something. My thoughts are overflowing but I have nowhere to rant and share what's mingling inside my head so yeah here it goes. 😡

This time, I am not posting about study tips, how to achieve good results in SPM, what to pursue next etc, maybe some time in the future. My truest intention is to share what actually inspires me to keep me going every single day. My inspiration is my parents. When I go through hardships and feel like giving up, I think about the two persons who I wanted to bring smile to their faces  (cliches some will say; every child feels that way) but really, they are the most important person in my life. Of course my teachers and friends are important too but they are at the other side of the story. 

Just like any other teenagers, I sometimes stomp my feet or sulk in the bedroom and even cry in the middle of family dinner because of something I disagreed or disappointed me. I am a big crybaby too, you know 😭 I am not a perfect daughter, anak solehah, who never did a single mistake, I also have some rebellious attempts I did but then I regret, biggest regret is every time you hurt your parents' feelings... but they never give up providing and deciding what's best for me.

My parents, they are not conquering who I wanted to be friends with, what I want to buy, where I wanna go, what I wanna do but they give me the best advice and make the best decision for me. Not saying that I'm not independent, anak mak, anak bapak, it is just that they know me better than I know myself and they have this parents instinct like they can foresee the future (hyperbolic). Most of the crucial decisions in my life, they will decide but if they sense that I'm devastated with that decision they'll let me speak out what I actually wants. I might feels unhappy about the decision at first but then things starting to get better.. 🌌

When I was 8 and the whole family had to move to Kelantan because of my father's job. I felt so sad because I had to leave all my childhood friends, schoolmates and a boy I had crushed on...πŸ™ˆ I really felt like my world is crumbling because I thought that Kelantan has nothing, no cinemas, no big shopping malls, no pinafores and all kampungs but I was TOTALLY wrong. There are some good and bad thing in Kelantan that makes me a better person now. For instance, I am chosen to join storytelling, representing school to competitions and was awarded the best student and I know that there's  a huge lessons and hikmah when we had to move to Kelantan. 🌠

When I was in standard 6 and I got 5As in my UPSR, I was offered to study in Tunku Kurshiah College (TKC) which is so far from my home. Considering that I am just a tiny 12 years old turning 13 (in my father's eye) and the school is far far away, although it is one of the best schools with huge area, best facilities and teaching system, my father did not give permission. My parents said that their instinct of sending me to that school is not good and they felt heavyhearted to let me be on my own at the early age. Some people questioned why I declined such a golden opportunity but I know my parents know what's best. So, I enrolled in SMK Dato' Ahmad Maher, the place where I make many friends and create many memories. I started to join bahas, be one of the top scorers, join many competitions that make me start thinking ,oh, maybe I will just be a small fish in a big pond if I decided to study in a school with all genius maniacs!😱 Thus, Maher is a daily school so I got to spend more time with my family and not too attached to boarding schools regulation. One of the best schools, I say. "Once A Maherian, Forever A Maherian" πŸ’•

To Be Continued....