First Semester at Taylor's University

Semester break! Semester break!

It had been a very, very long time since my last entry because I was so busy. I can't believe I already completed my first semester at Taylor's University! Yay for me!! It feels like it was just yesterday that I first become Taylor's student but 6 months already passed. Phew, how fast time flies. It was a hectic semester, to be honest, BUT it was an enjoyable one. Like a roller-coaster ride, I would say. Full of screaming and crying but it was fun and I survived. Maybe I could share a little bit of what I experienced during this first-semester journey and elaborate more in the next entry.

Overall, Taylor's is great for its community and facility, everything deserves a 5-star rating. I was very excited to be enrolled in this university but also scared because it's my first year!! what do you expect? I don't know where to start xD because so many things happened in 6 months lol.

Okay let's start with the accommodation, shall we? Scholars are accommodated in Uresidence, a very comfortable single room apartment. I have 6 housemates which include 3 Petronas Scholars and 2 Undergraduates students. I felt so comfortable because I have my own personal space which is my room but also can interact with my housemates at the dining room. I always cook here because the food is kind of expensive. AHA! The only bad thing about living in Taylor's (if you come from a mediocre family) like me is food !! Everything is 5 star including the food. If you eat 2 meals (lunch and dinner) at restaurant in Taylor's, it can cost about RM20 per day unless you eat at Mamak or Temptation (but Temptation already close this December  😭☹) so I cook one meal almost every day to cut cost, buy outside food/ delivery, or go to surau on certain days to get free food (can ibadah also ✊) Okay, back to Uresidence. The room is so comfortable (just a little bit small) but okay la for one person. The bed is cozy and got aircond! Every student is given 240 hours free air -conditioner credits every month. EVERY. MONTH. So at the end of the month, I'll usually have many extra credits so I'll try my best to finish it xD. The bathroom also has water heater and simply say, accommodation at Uresidence is like at a hotel la.. for a person like me lol.

Next, academics! During my first two weeks, my classes are not packed. There are only 2 classes per day 😲 and I was super blessed. My classes start at 11 am usually which is calculus but I mourn a little if I have English classes because it starts at 8 HAHAHA who doesn't? BUT English was funnn because my English lecturer is sporting and she always gives motivational talks which then I'll quote and put it on my social medias hahaha. English was the hardest subject to score an A, though. Oh btw, as well as I thought Permata's grading system is harsh, here is worse. 95 A+ and 85 A in Permata, here it's 97 for A+ and 90 for A. Dia punya struggle nak 4.0 flat tu perghh but my result is not out yet. Please pray for me 😭 The key is to complete all assignments and if lecturers have tasks for you to earn extra credits, DO IT!! I only took 4 subjects for this semester and another 4 for next semester. Because of that, I plan to join many, many clubs and societies. I signed up for Book Club, Model United Nation Club,  Gym Membership, and Higher Express (a sports league) because I thought I want to be productive and fulfil my precious time.

BUT, I was wrong. Plan tu semua hancuzzz. hahhaa

Not because I'm lazy or sleep all the time (which I did) but because of UNIS APPLICATION. I need to apply for US universities and secure a place so that I can fly to the US next year. This thing is what make my semester full of blood, sweat, and tears. But, it was worth it. There are so many documents to be settled that I will explain my experiences soon (kalau rajin) and it all happened in midterm week, assignment week like all the burden comes at once !! at the same time. So far, I have applied to 4 universities (University of Minnesota, Purdue University, Ohio State and PennState). Alhamdulillah, I have been admitted to the University of Minnesota. The thing is this application is what makes my plan to be productive ruined 😂😂 but it was worth it. hmmm...

Ha, another good thing about being in Taylor's is its community. Here, you get to meet different people from very different cultures and backgrounds. Prepare yourself to be culture shocked. hahahha. I have quite an acquaintances but my circle of friends are really close. These close friends of mine, Mas and Syeena are one of the reasons I survived ADP because they always support me and guide me (ajak pergi surau also tapi ajak pergi concert jugak xD). I want to do an appreciation post for them later lah. hahaha. and I also have kawan "masuk air" one like Luqman and Hadi and many more.

I have a lot to share but I could not elaborate all in one entry. Maybe in the next post or you can ask questions or give suggestions on what I should write later? Be back soon!

Special Ability or Wonder of Science?

Have you ever experienced lucid dream, sleep paralyzed, having nightmare or other extraordinary situations when sleeping? I don't know what I'm experiencing because it is kind of weird and it happens to me like everyday but only when I sleep during the day. Never at night or maybe couple of times but it frequently happen on the day. I love to sleep nah, not really. I slept a lot since this neverending holidays after SPM. I will sleep in the morning, afternoon and evening, depends because you know I really have nothing to do, no boyfriend, not many interesting places to go out, notifications not blasting off, already watched to much kdrama or sometimes social media becoming to boring, already read all the books, so I sleep. 

But when I sleep, it's hard to wake up unless if my mom wake me up. Why? I wanted to wake up, so bad. Thus, I don't know whether this is a special ability or it also happens to anyone else, I can know whether I'm dreaming or not.. 

Ever watched divergent? It is just the same like Beatrice Prior who got into the simulation and when she experienced something awful while in the simulation she realised that it is not real and that's what really happened to me just that Beatrice can control her dream like finding other ways to get out from that situation but I can't. What I could do is when I realised that it is a dream, I try to wake up but most of the time I can't wake up. My eyes are really hard to open, my body gets stiff and sometimes I couldn't speak and sweat a lot. Usually if I am able to wake up, my back will ache so bad and I am still confused whether I'm still dreaming or not. I even have double dreams like I woke up in a dream and other dreams will continue. Sometimes I got 3-4 dreams with the same cycle and it is so exhausting. 

Some examples of my dream that I wanted to share who knows if someone can translate my dream, lol. Firstly, I am really really scared like phobia like really freaked out with worms and cockroaches like omg I can faint if those things get on me and unfortunately I dreamt of it. One person is going to scare the out of me by chasing me with those worms and I cried, like I can feel like I am really scared and I realized that it's just a dream so I tried to wake up but I can't so what I do is sit on the floor, turn myself into a ball, like umm hug myself so tightly, and the dream was gone. The other one that I can remember is my little brother who is going to kill me and I can feel he stabs me with a knife but realizing that he is a sweetheart I know that it is a dream. 

Today is worse because I had many dreams and I am trying to wake up but I can't until my mom wake me up at 12.30 p.m. I slept at 11 a.m, my first dream is about me eating a cooked egg that contains things like nails, thumbtacks, tiny toys like santau ok scary and when I realised that it is a dream, I try to wake up but I think I can but actually I wake up in a dream, then I look at the window and I could see war, fire, but when I think back, it's not possible and I know bad things happen in a dream so I try to wake up again but this time is harder and I had to roll back and forth to wake up but I think I woke up for real this time but I'm too tired so I go back to sleep and then I dream that I woke up and eat some tempe (padahal harini puasa) so I was really shook and I ran out from my bed, crying saying that "Alamak tak igt puasa macam mana ni?" to my family who already sitting on the dining table waiting to break fast. I asked them "pukul berapa?" And they said "nak berbuka dah" and I think wth it's impossible that I sleep sampai nak dekat maghrib so I try to wake up again. The next dream I couldn't remember but luckily my mom wake me up, but I woke up, sweating and still in confusion. 

This things happen many time, but everytime I wanted to wake up, all my limbs get stiff, I couldn't even open my eyes but I know, I am aware that it is just a dream. Because of that, awful dreams do not really scare me it's just make me super lethargic. Maybe I am mentally tired or maybe you can share some science explanation or research about this? It will be cooler if I can control the dream lol because I realized it is a dream just that I couldn't proceed with a better next step. Hahahaaha thank you if you read what I wrote till the end, maybe you might think that this is nonsense and maybe this happens because I read to many fantasy books and watch too many movies. I should have a dream journal, shouldn't I?

Petronas Young Stars Day 2018 Experience

After getting SPM result, everyone is so busy applying for scholarships and pre-university program. So do I. I've applied for PETRONAS education sponsorship program (PESP). My first choice is Chemical Engineering at USA and my second choice is Applied Chemistry at USA. After applying, the applicants have to wait for the result and Alhamdulillah.. I was invited to PETRONAS  YOUNGSTARS DAY (PYD) for the next stage. I was so excited because from my seniors experience, they said that PYD was very fun and exciting. It was held from 22-26 April but my session was on 24th April. I went there with my mom and the venue was at KDU University College Glenmarie Campus.

Before PYD, of course the applicants need to do some preparations. There are some important documents need to be brought and make sure to complete the document they wanted us to bring. Don't worry, you'll be given a guideline. I also do some research about PETRONAS, what are their focus areas and read some experience shared by PETRONAS scholars. I also asked some tips from my seniors who are the PETRONAS scholars and they say to be confident, speak up and make friends with others too. Fortunately, I've joined some PETRONAS programs during  my high school such as PETRONAS@school and they also come to our school for sharing. 

I woke up as early as 5.30 a.m. so that I'll not be late. My mother and I stayed at a hotel nearby. My attire was a white shirt tucked in with a black slack, a black bawal, blazers and  a pair of  court shoes. From what I've learned for grooming session, this attire will make you look more presentable, sophisticated and smart so it made me feel confident in this attire. I've prepared all my documents and  ready to go. I reached there quite early and met my schoolmates. As soon as we arrive, I had to say goodbye to my mom because parents and students had different briefing. We were ushered to floor 3A, where the auditorium was. When I entered, there were already one row occupied, so Shasha, Moh and I sat at the second row. I made friends with Zafirah and Maisarah. After that, we were told to register and took our breakfast.  I was given a tag labelled 1-6 and sat at the front row.

During waiting for the briefing to start, I chatted with a new friend, Syakir from Shah Alam and he applied for accounting, and another friend, Arif from MRSM, thus I got Shasha to, my schoolmate and we are closed so yeah, I calmed down a lot. I am not bored at all because the students are friendly and there was nothing to be scared about as long  as you know how to make friends, smile a lot and socialize. At 9.00 a.m we were given a briefing about PESP, the courses and countries, tips for CPSQ (which was a personality test) and TSA (Thinking Skills Assessment). I was quite nervous for the online assessment but PETRONAS already provided sample questions attached with the invitation letter and you have to do some past papers such as Oxford TSA and Cambridge TSA that can be found online. 

After that, we headed to the computer lab for online assessments. The computer lab at KDU is so jaw dropping and so cooooollll. The students here must be enjoying the facilities. I was quite nervous because only participants who passed online assessment (phase 1) will continue to the interview session (phase 2). The first assessment is CPSQ which is a personality test. They asked about your personality, how you control your emotion and  how you behave in your everyday life. So the key point is to be honest and know yourself thus don't take too long to answer. It was 45 minutes. The second assessment is Cambridge Thinking Skill Assessment which includes IQ test, Mathematics and English. The maths were not addmaths that require formula, but it was a logic math. You need to imagine a lot and solve the problem logically so open your mind and a little bit of practice from past years question might help a lot. 90 minutes for 40 questions and Alhamdulillah I had time to finish all questions.

After the online assessment, it was lunch break time. They served us delicious food, tho. Chicken rice ! But I did not eat because I'm too busy chatting and too full hehe. So I just finished my breakfast food and decided to eat that chicken rice after interview (if qualified). Sharp at 1 pm, the results was announced ! I was quite nervous but I calm myself down that whatever the result is, I what's best for me. Since the qualified names are arranged in alphabetical order and those with Muhammad and Nur were A LOT, I am anxious waiting for O 😂 Fortunately, I was qualified and my interview group was A11 which is the first session. I was grateful because I had to catch my flight too at 8 so being able to finished at 4 made my mom and I calmed down. Phew. My groupmates were Khalil, Jing Kai and Chin Kai.

At 2 pm, we were briefed about the interview session and given a case study to discuss. 30 minutes preparation were given. Time's up and we were called into the interview room. The interview started by introducing ourselves. Don't worry, the interviewers were kind and assuring so you just have to be confident and believe in yourself. We had to give our opinions and points on the case study given go 5 minutes. I was quite nervous at first by after some seconds, I became comfortable and was in the zone so I gave out my points. I hope it did not sound ridiculous or boring. After the individual task, we were given 30 minutes for group discussion. We had to tolerate with each other and bare in mind to speak up. Do not be too passive, dominant or too aggressive because they want teamwork and cooperation. We had to discuss a proposal based on the case study and present it after the 30 minutes was up. We had so much fun because the interview was not depressive or tense. At the end of the interview, we were required to ask some questions to the interviewers. I was reminded to ask questions to show interest towards PETRONAS. And at 4, the interview was over and we took some pictures as mementos. It's a wrap !!

After one month of waiting, patiently and anxiously for the result, the result was out on 26th May. My heart was throbbing when logging into the application to check the result and Alhamdulillah, I got the scholarship and also secure my first choice. I am so grateful to be blessed with this scholarship. I still in dilemma to choose between pursuing Chemical Engineering which is the program offered by petronas or medicine. I am so over the moon and very thankful. If I accept this offer, I will be pursuing my American Degree Program at Taylor's Lakeside Campus and if I succeed to maintain the cgpa, insya-Allah I will fly to United States in one year time. Wish me luck and I wish you all the best !!

MARA YOUNG TALENT DEVELOPMENT (YTP) 2018 EXPERIENCE

Besides PETRONAS sponsorship, I also applied for MARA scholarship. It is more to convertible loan actually. Between JPA, JPA-MARA and MARA, applicants must choose either one. Although I am quite tempted to apply for JKPJ (jepun,korea, perancis, jerman) program under engineering, I didn't apply because I am more interested to apply for medic under MARA YTP (Young Talent Development) program. If I got lucky and did well for my IB, I will have high chance to do medic overseas. It was a rare occasion that MARA wants to sponsor students to study medic overseas because of the very high cost. I give it a try, who knows I got lucky and it is the best for me. First and foremost, I filled in the online application through MARA website. I had to cancel my earlier application for JKPJ program first. My first choice is IB program at Kolej MARA Banting and second choice is IB Program at Kolej MARA Seremban. After a month, the result was out and Alhamdulillah.. I passed the first stage and was called for interview and psychometric test.

The psychometric test must be done at home within the time stated which is one hour. Different candidates have different time for psychometric test. During my time it was some personality test and SPM-based questions so better refresh back what you had learn during your high school years. But for the past years, the psychometric test ask about MARA and some history so the test differs by year. Some courses might only require the candidates to sit for psychometric test only without interview so it depends on what course you applied.

My interview was on 28th April at Kolej Poly-tech MARA Bangi. The registration session was at 8-9.30 but because I arrived a little bit late, which is at 8.30, I had to wait for the second round.The earlier the better so that you can finish early but if you can't make it, don't worry as long as you don't pass the registration time. The queue is long, tho and the interviews will be held for 2 days with so many more sessions. What I've learned is the ratio of girls to boys that wanted to become doctors was like 3 : 1 but there are also interviews for future engineers so yeah that's why there are so many people. My registration was at 9.30 a.m. and my interview will start at 10 a.m. I already arranged my documents according to the order they wanted but unfortunately one document is not complete which is borang BE. sigh.. I thought by bringing slip gaji is enough so they gave me MARA's email and told me to email them the borang. Phew. I thought I'll be disqualified already. After the registration, I was given a tag labelled C4 and told to follow the usherer.

I was brought to a room and was asked to sit according to my number so I was in group C. There were 8 people in a group. During the waiting time, I chatted with my groupmates, Shazmeen, Alya, Aminah, Fatimah, Anis, Hakimi and Adam. Most of them are from MRSM and only Fatimah are interviewing for engineering course while the rest for medic, as same as me. We chatted about a lot of things, experiences and opinions so don't be shy and make a lot of friends ! Speak up and be friendly :). After about half an hour waiting we were briefed about the interview and were brought to the interview room. The interview room was cold, tho and there were three interviewers. There are two phases which are group task and individual interview.

So, our first task is group work. Eight of us were divided into two groups. We were given a set of legos, building blocks, and we were required to build a double-story building using all the blocks. There were also some gears that must be functioning using the batteries. We were given 20 minutes to complete the task. It was quite hard, tho because the blocks did not really fit but the most important thing is you must work together. Teamwork is the key. When the 20 minutes time was up, my team's building is not completed yet but we were satisfied and had some fun. During the presentation time, Adam came up with a brilliant idea on how the gears can be operated using hydro energy or wind energy, Fatimah said that it can be build at riverbanks, Anis said that it is fun for the children and safe while I stated that our building is an indoor playground and can also  act as kindergarten where the children will be secured and it is also portable and easy to build. The gears function really well and it turned out pretty good actually although it was not finished.

After the group task, we were asked to sit on the chairs according to our number. The interviewers asked question to us. I am the first person to be asked and the question I got is "what are your biggest challenges to be a good leader". Different candidates got different questions like "what is your dream", "how you go through hardship", "how to succeed in life" and so on. The second question is "what is your strength and why MARA should choose you compared to others" This question must be answered by all candidates and as for me I talk about research and my upcoming idea and how passionate am I to be a medical doctor. The interview was quite nerve-wrecking but the interviewers were supportive and will not scold you so they really calmed me a lot. The ending for our interview is by describing a short and sweet background about us and after that the interview ended. It was a delightful experience and I am very grateful to be given such opportunity. I make many friends and gained a lot of experience !

So, after 2 weeks of waiting, the result is finally out. Fortunately, I got offered into the program however, I did not get the course code that I wanted which is MARA0101 instead I got MARA0301 which means, I will not have the opportunity to study abroad under this code. I will have to undergo one year of Foundation in Science at Kolej Mara Kuala Nerang, Kedah and continue my degree in Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery (MBBS) in UniKL Royal College of Medicine Perak (RCMP). I am really grateful to be offered such a great opportunity but I'm not sure yet whether it is the best for  me because RCMP is very new so I need to look up for some reviews and information about this college first. I really wanted to study medicine, tho and but I need to do some thinking and ask for opinions first. I hope this is the best path for me to become a great doctor one day. 

After the Storm Comes the Rainbow 🌈 (PART 2)

Life in Maher is near to perfect, compared to my primary school where I always get teased by the boys because my skin is not fair and I'm not pretty like other girls 😡 Sometimes I think why people have to discriminate skin color like white means pretty and black means ugly ?? I still remember how it feels to be unwanted and having small circle of friends.  I don't really have clique, though because I am always left behind but there are some true friends that made my day in primary school better. Primary school should be fun but somehow certain persons made it awful but it does not mean I didn't have any good memories. I do and those good memories are what I cherish the most 😃

Another series of life I had gone through since I was little is Perkhemahan Cuti Sekolah (PCS) PERMATApintar 💕 !! One of the best camps I have ever joined. It started when I was 10, a tiny little girl being sent to a summer camp 400 km away from her parents for 3 weeks 😵 ! 3 awesome weeks every year since 2010 to 2015 ! While I'm writing this, I can feel my level of excitement peak 😆 How can I describe how wonderful those camps are? Maybe in my further post I can share my experience going through this camp every December. Most of my friends I made is from these camps and yes, I gained a lot of friends and fun experience that I'll never forget.

Okay, here is where the storm starting to blow away my dream 🌀  In 2014, again, I joined PCS for the fifth time in course Penyelesaian Masalah Matematik (PMM). Most of my colleagues are 15 years old while I'm 14. Most of the participants who did well in the final assesment during this camp will be extracted into the program (high school program) at Kolej PERMATApintar and it had been my dream especially to skip a year. Unfortunately, my dream crumbled because I didn't get chosen 😢 To be honest, my heart did breaks, I did cry because most of my close friends and people I know for years, get a place in the college. I was totally devastated but I encourage myself that I still have chance and there must be a good reason behind what happened 😊 I took some time to recover, a little bit emotional there because I am still young but my parents, although I know they too have high hopes for me getting admitted, they gave me moral support and encouraged me that it was okay, that I had done my best, that there is more good things to come, that it is not the end ❤

So I enjoy another year in Maher and on this year (PT3 year) I did most memorable things with THE ERUDITES ( my 3 Sina clan) 💞. Honestly, it was one of the best years as we went to trip to Terengganu together, organized programs, went to competitions, represented school to debate and even won best speakers award ! There are so many good moments in 2015 that made me feel grateful for not getting the offer and I feel like I want to spend my days at Maher until I finish high school 🙌However, I get to join the camp again in 2015, my last camp because 15 years old is the age limit. As usual, I had fun and participated like anyone else. Most of the participants are at my age too so I don't really feel insecure instead I had a very great time with my coursemates ✌

I got Advanced Physics this time and we combined with my previous year course, PMM. That year was quite melancholic, though because it was my final year joining the camp and I felt like, wow... I am really going to miss this place so much, a place where I made so many friends and memories, where I learnt a lot, a place where I think I belong and people understand me 😭 That year, again, I had to go through UKM 3 (the final assessment) and interview. I did my best but I did not put too much hope like I did in the previous year. On my last day, it felt really heartbreaking 💔 especially to leave my friends but we promised each other to keep in touch. Alhamdulillah, on that final year, I got the offer. To be honest, I was over the moon and immediately accept the offer without consulting anyone except my parents 😌 Although it looked like a false move but because my parents and I agreed on the same thing, it turned out to be one of the best decision Allah set up for me... 🌌

To be continued...

After the Storm Comes the Rainbow 🌈 (PART 1)

SPM results was announced two days ago and I am very grateful for what I get because the target I set up was achieved. I get better than what I've been expected until I shed happiness tears and no words can describe how happy I was because the hard work is finally paid off. Alhamdulillah and all praise to Allah is what I gonna say. After a period I stopped posting on this blog (well, this blog exists only for my Bahasa Melayu class), I somehow felt like I want to write something. My thoughts are overflowing but I have nowhere to rant and share what's mingling inside my head so yeah here it goes. 😵

This time, I am not posting about study tips, how to achieve good results in SPM, what to pursue next etc, maybe some time in the future. My truest intention is to share what actually inspires me to keep me going every single day. My inspiration is my parents. When I go through hardships and feel like giving up, I think about the two persons who I wanted to bring smile to their faces  (cliches some will say; every child feels that way) but really, they are the most important person in my life. Of course my teachers and friends are important too but they are at the other side of the story. 

Just like any other teenagers, I sometimes stomp my feet or sulk in the bedroom and even cry in the middle of family dinner because of something I disagreed or disappointed me. I am a big crybaby too, you know 😭 I am not a perfect daughter, anak solehah, who never did a single mistake, I also have some rebellious attempts I did but then I regret, biggest regret is every time you hurt your parents' feelings... but they never give up providing and deciding what's best for me.

My parents, they are not conquering who I wanted to be friends with, what I want to buy, where I wanna go, what I wanna do but they give me the best advice and make the best decision for me. Not saying that I'm not independent, anak mak, anak bapak, it is just that they know me better than I know myself and they have this parents instinct like they can foresee the future (hyperbolic). Most of the crucial decisions in my life, they will decide but if they sense that I'm devastated with that decision they'll let me speak out what I actually wants. I might feels unhappy about the decision at first but then things starting to get better.. 🌌

When I was 8 and the whole family had to move to Kelantan because of my father's job. I felt so sad because I had to leave all my childhood friends, schoolmates and a boy I had crushed on...🙈 I really felt like my world is crumbling because I thought that Kelantan has nothing, no cinemas, no big shopping malls, no pinafores and all kampungs but I was TOTALLY wrong. There are some good and bad thing in Kelantan that makes me a better person now. For instance, I am chosen to join storytelling, representing school to competitions and was awarded the best student and I know that there's  a huge lessons and hikmah when we had to move to Kelantan. 🌠

When I was in standard 6 and I got 5As in my UPSR, I was offered to study in Tunku Kurshiah College (TKC) which is so far from my home. Considering that I am just a tiny 12 years old turning 13 (in my father's eye) and the school is far far away, although it is one of the best schools with huge area, best facilities and teaching system, my father did not give permission. My parents said that their instinct of sending me to that school is not good and they felt heavyhearted to let me be on my own at the early age. Some people questioned why I declined such a golden opportunity but I know my parents know what's best. So, I enrolled in SMK Dato' Ahmad Maher, the place where I make many friends and create many memories. I started to join bahas, be one of the top scorers, join many competitions that make me start thinking ,oh, maybe I will just be a small fish in a big pond if I decided to study in a school with all genius maniacs!😱 Thus, Maher is a daily school so I got to spend more time with my family and not too attached to boarding schools regulation. One of the best schools, I say. "Once A Maherian, Forever A Maherian" 💕

To Be Continued....